Do you know who I am? The entity of a being. A living mystery. Remaining unseen. An unnamed character. A vision without a face. Staying anonymous. A blur in the haze. That unconscious thought. A special feeling. With no identity. Constantly concealing. A question, unanswered. A shadow with a voice. I’m a simple conundrum. Existence in the voids.
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Have you ever steered yourself away from something because "that's not you"? Have you decided against an outfit or hairstyle because "that's not you"? Have you refused to try something because "that's not you"?
What's not you? Anything that you do becomes you, even if you've never done it before. Why are you holding yourself back? It's not because something isn't you. It's because of fear. You're afraid that you might fail or that someone will judge you. You're afraid of rejection or maybe, you're afraid that it'll make you happy. Can you imagine being afraid of happiness? Maybe you don't have to image because you live in that fear? Happiness is vital. Do not let anything stop you from finding your happiness. Not fear. Not yourself. Once you face your fear, whether it's judgement, rejection, or yourself; it doesn't matter. Once you face it and buy those boots, take that job, just say "yes" to something that won't hurt you but kinda scares you. Things will change. You will change. Change is constant. Why not embrace it? I’m an animal.
A wild soul. Uninhabited. No self-control. In need of training. Domestication. Tough love. Taming. Domination. Lock the collar. Shorten my leash. Discipline me. Calm the beast. Break my habits. Dedication. Building trust. Adoration. Be my Master. Make me obey. Sit. Beg. Cum. Good Girl. Stay. I’m an animal. Domesticate me. Be my Owner. Dominate me. Criticism. Can you handle it?
We all love hearing "Great Job"! We all love compliments. We love when people love us! That's not how it always works, though. There will always be criticism; whether constructive or negative or even self-criticism. It will always exist, there's no escape. We must thicken our skin and humble ourselves. We won't always be right. We don't know it all. We will get told "no". We will be corrected. We must accept this. How you handle the negatives says so much about your character. Don't get me wrong, some criticism is delivered poorly and that's something we have no control over. When the delivery is done incorrectly, the best reaction is none at all. Some people intentionally exaggerate the negatives to feel better about themselves and they only want a reaction from you. They strive to "set you off" or to "destroy your success". They're petty and they don't deserve your reaction. They don't deserve your time and they don't deserve to relish in your success. However, you will still encounter rejection, criticism, negativity. You will still be told you're wrong or that you could do better. This is a part of growth. This is how you evolve. Use criticism as a tool. Learn from it. Be better because of it. Grow. Take their words and use them as fuel to feed your flame! Do not take it in vain. Do not crumble. When you succeed and you stand proud, the ground will be littered with those who knew you could and those that said you couldn't. Negative comes with the positive. Absorb it. Rise. Grow. Have you praised yourself recently? Have you bragged about some of your accomplishments? Are you being modest? I get it. I humble myself all the time because gloating is frowned upon. However, I think 2022 came in rough for almost everyone and we could use some self-appreciation. So, today is a great day to toot your own horn! I have a few things from this past week that I'm proud of so I'll go first. It's time for a good ole fashioned brag session! My Bestfriend is a smut story of mine. It's technically a work in progress and currently has 8 parts. It's been getting steady reads; averaging 150 reads per day. This week, it passed 25K reads. That may not sound like a lot to some but when I say "over 25 THOUSAND reads", it sounds fucking amazing to me! I'm not all over social media promoting myself, so, this growth has been organic. I do owe my friends and family a huge "thank you" for sharing my links and supporting me! Crossing 25K is HUGE! I can't wait until I reach 50K! With a new year, came reconnections and I reconnected with an old friend. I met this woman almost 15 years ago and over the last few years, we had lost touch with each other. We've been texting and I have truly missed this wonderful soul. She's transparent with me and I see her authenticity! I love her and I know that she loves me! I sent her a link to my blog, to just give her something to read. A way to escape reality. A distraction. In return she gave me this: And she made my fucking day! She made me so happy and I am beyond thankful for her! Last weekend, my sister-in-law was trying to get back into gear after being sick and dealing with a bad eye infection. She said she could use all the motivation and encouragement that she could get. I took this upon myself to become a daily motivator and I sent her an encouraging text each morning to start her day off on the right foot! I'm not sure how much it helped but she sent this Friday: My sister-in-law is a published self-help author and a motivational speaker so to be a motivation in any way to her is a compliment in itself! She lives her truth daily and dedicates herself to helping those that are struggling to find their truth. Each day, she hopes to help others succeed with her words of encouragement and I feel honored to be connected to that! Now, something that I am SUPER stoked about! As most of you are aware: I write smut! It's not romance. It's not erotica. It's smut. It's my niche, my genre, my thing and I love it! I love writing sex scenes. I love using dirty words. It's what I do best. As I was exploring platforms for my stories, I found www.pieboxxx.com and I was intrigued. I submitted a few stories and even wrote a new one. I was rewarded instantly with a confidence boost! The owner of pieboxxx had just decided to start promoting content creators and I was the first one to get promoted! It was AWESOME! I felt like it was a sign that I was home. I leaped into a new world and I was met with open arms. I was very touched and not even inappropriately! Then, it got better! After submitting the new story I wrote just for pieboxxx, I received a direct message from the pieboxxx owner. HOLY SHIT! I know! Not only have I been noticed by them, but they're wanting to alter their site FOR ME! They are adding a whole new genre FOR ME! How fucking cool is that? I'll tell you...IT'S REALLY FUCKING COOL!!! Pieboxxx has really boosted my confidence this week and I'm ready to turn some ideas into finished stories this coming week. Thank you pieboxxx for being a nice kick in the pants. Stay tuned for new content! And if you're wanting to check out my current smut content, you can here: pieboxxx.com/user/tuesday_daily No matter the day or the week. No matter what's going on in our lives. My husband is my number one fan! He has always supported me and pushed me towards my goals. This week has been no different. He has been fucking amazing! When I mention interest in my stories, he acts as if they've been sleeping on me and they've been missing out! He makes me feel like I can succeed at anything and I know with him by my side that I can!
As if I needed a cherry on top, my best friend texted (while I was writing this), and let me know that the cobbler I had brought her, was delicious! Ironically, it was cherry cobbler... coincidental? Ironic? Either way, the cherry on top of my already positive week was about literal cherry. I can't make this shit up and I'm a writer! My week has been positive and I am very proud of what has come my way. My success is not measured by yours or anyone else's and I am succeeding! We should all be proud of who we are and what we do! Today, you brag! Be proud of what you have done! Be proud of who you are! Starting Monday with positivity and motivation is already a win! Today, take it a step further! It's time to boast about yourself and your accomplishments! Find all the great things that have happened this last week and celebrate! You are fucking awesome! Tell the world! I STEAL GLASSES.
There, I said it and I am not ashamed. Let me explain. No, let me enlighten you! My husband and I have been together for 15 years. Dates are important to us; to all relationships, including friendships. A date, whether good or bad, is a chance to focus on one another and to create a memory. As long as you are with someone that you love, the date can’t ever be that bad. I love making memories, especially with my husband, and when we have a great time at dinner during one of our dates... I steal the glass! I can tell you that not all of our dinners have been good. Hell, some have even been straight awful like the time I had a dirty napkin in my rice. It was on Valentine’s Day 2011, right after we had moved back to my Home State. My sister offered to watch our 2 children at the time and we decided to go have dinner. Valentine’s Day isn’t a holiday that my husband and I particularly enjoy celebrating but we decided to that year. We went to a “Name Brand” seafood place. We waited to be seated, ordered our drinks and food, then, we waited some more. Our drinks arrived. Our food arrived. We began eating. Halfway through my salmon and partially through my rice: I find it. A wadded-up napkin stuck to my plate, under the rice pilaf. It was either stuck to the plate through being washed or it was used when they microwave “steamed” my rice. Either way, IT WAS DISGUSTING! We complained and my meal was comped. They offered to replace my dinner but I decided against eating and just ordered another drink instead. “I think I'll just drink my dinner tonight, thanks.” Would have been my exact words. They did give me a free dessert but I managed to leave it on the table and never saw that chocolate cake again. So, I’ve definitely have had some not-so-great times at dinner. But I’ve also had amazing times and great food! Like our last date. New Year’s Eve, we decided it was time for another date night. We arrived at a hotel room 2 hours from home and it was time to find a place to eat at for dinner. We decided to go to a local sports bar hat had a decent looking menu, from what we saw online. We didn’t want to go anywhere too fancy but we didn’t want fast food either, so viola, here we are. We’re seated in the bar at a high-top table so we can catch the game that’s on. Our waitress arrives and she can best be described as a “Barb”. It’s hard to explain but if you’ve ever worked in the sit-down restaurant industry, you’ve met a “Barb”. She’s an older woman with a rough exterior. She’s frumpy, almost grumpy but she works hard and gets shit done. She probably complains about management a lot and she smokes light cigarettes. Her adult son is a real asshole but she adores her grand-babies. That’s Barb. So, our server wasn’t spectacular but she kept our table neat and wasn’t awful. The bartender was from the South and he was a Bulldogs fan: GO DAWGS! He saw my husband’s Georgia jersey as soon as we walked in and won the Hub’s heart from the start. The bartender checked on us during our dining experience and he talked football so that was a plus. He was definitely a pleasure to be around. Now, the food! The food was fucking amazing! Hubby had a cajun chicken and sausage pasta while I had a chicken fried chicken dinner. Both were amazing. My husband and I both cook and we both cook very well so it’s harder to impress us with food but this place did. The pasta tasted like something that my husband would have made in the kitchen, himself. The flavor was spot-on and everything from the peppers to the noodles was cooked perfectly. My chicken dinner tasted very homestyle, as if a grandma prepared it herself with the love included. Between the very friendly bartender and the fucking delicious food, it was safe to say that it was a good dinner. Good dinners mean that I have to steal the glass. Now, I want it to be known that 9 times out of 10, I tell the server that I’m going to steal the glass and this time was no different except I skipped telling “Barb” and decided to tell the bartender. “Hey, no hurry but when you get a second, can you come chat?”, I ask the bartender in passing. “Sure thing. Let me drip this off and I’ll be back.”, he replies. A few minutes later, he reappeared. “Okay, I’m back. What’s up?”, he asks. Whelp, he did ask, so here’s my speal. “Hi, so, we had a great dinner and when we have great dinners, I steal the glass. I like to steal them so that I can use them and remember this time and how it was a good time. The food tasted so good and we were thoroughly satisfied. You were awesome and we really enjoyed ourselves. So, I’m going to steal this glass. However, I got a new purse for Christmas and it’s dinky. I can’t steal shit with this little thing so I need your help. I need a to-go cup so I can put this glass in it and walk out the front door. I’m not wanting to deal with a manager trying to stop me. Can I get a to-go cup, please?” Taking it all in, he responds with, “Yup, I’ll be right back with that cup and I don’t give a shit what you steal.” He left and returned with a Styrofoam cup. I placed the glass inside the to-go cup and we left. Walking right out the front door without even seeing a manager. But better safe than sorry, right? That’s the story of the last glass I stole. Some of the stories are intricate like the one above while others are to the point like I ordered a special drink because it came in a complimentary mason jar glass that you were able to take home. However, after I ordered I was informed that they were out of mason jars and my drink would be in a regular bar glass I responded with: “That’s fine. Just know that I’m taking that glass home.” And I did. So, I have stick fingers and I steal glasses. It’s not something that I‘m going to stop doing, nor is it something I feel bad about. If I have a great dinner, I will steal the glass so if you were ever a server to a bright, red-headed girl and her lovely husband, only to find a glass went missing when they left, just know that we had an AMAZING time and you were awesome!!! This is a screenshot that I received 2 days ago. It's from my sister-in-law. She said that I was on her mind when she was writing her daily motivational message and she wanted to share it with me. I feel flattered that I was an "inspiration" for a positive message but I don't think women need anyone to tell us to stand out! We stand out, if we didn't, no-one would try to hold us back; no-one would try to stop us. We are a force to be reckoned with: We are WOMEN! I support my sister-in-law in all she does, even if it makes me bitter but I don't think this is something we need in this world. We don't need women to tell us to be a change. We need women that are the change! While reading this passage that she shared with me, I realized that she may be inspired by "women like me" and she may think that we're a "special breed" because of how we look, because of how we talk, because of how we stand but we are the normal. We are the parents that understand our kids differently, we are the teachers that make a difference, we are the nurses that make everything okay. We are not a special kind of woman; we are the best kind... a truly authentic self! We are something special because we know that we are. We know that everyone is someone special and we all have gifts and talents to share with the world. The reason we seem like such magical beings is because we refuse to let anyone dull our sparkle and we will shine no matter how dark the world gets. You can't keep good women down: you can't keep good people down. As the inspiration for a daily motivational speech, I think I've reached a level of excellence that I always knew was there. I feel appreciated and honored. My sister-in-law has come from addiction and full denial to sobriety and living her truth. She's currently a self-help author and a motivational speaker. If you are interested in joining a Facebook group that is full of positive and motivational messages then here's the group for you! Lisa Starr is an up & coming force to be reckoned with and she has the encouragement you need to be successful in your own journey! www.facebook.com/groups/427061822204877/ |
AuthorMarried. Mother. Writer. Artist. Witty. Clever. Positive. Obnoxious. Amazing. Archives
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